Mental Jam(ming)

I recently attended a Jammer bootcamp where at the close of the day we got to try out our new found skills against a Top Level wall of blockers from the host team.

We all took our turns to try to get out, I think of us all only one was successful. I tried but failed. Which I expected, what I didn’t expect was the most valuable piece of feedback I’ve received (so far).

My mental game holds me back.

I sort of already knew this, but having it observed by someone else was quite important. They saw me make the gap, they saw me look at the gap, but for some reason I didn’t take the gap even though I have the ability to.

So why? What is it that is making me go ‘nope’ when I should be saying ‘yep’?

I think it stems from coming back after an injury. It’s still only been over a year since I was broken, and I don’t think my mind and my body are quite connecting as they should – My confidence isn’t back yet – I know too well how one false move can end badly. And since being injured it makes the reality of it happening again all too real.

I always believed that if I trained hard that injury would be far away. But I didn’t know then that I had a calcium deficiency or that I had other health problems that would exacerbate the potential for fracture. I’m healed and I’m in control of my condition, but mentally I’m still not where I was.

I’m trying to rebuild my mental game by reading all the books. Training all the things. Continuing to do my rehab exercises and doing all the bone building high impact work. 

Deep down I know it’ll just take time for me to trust my body again, being able to take that gap with gusto takes more than skill, it takes courage, and right now I’m only 80% there. And you know what? That’s ok, I know I’ll get there, I just need to maintain my positive mental attitude and continue to test and train my body and brain, and in time that gap will be mine.

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