Why I hate Certificates…

Yes, me, Miss competitive and lover of stats tables – I HATE Roller Derby certificates.

But why, you may ask, do I hate them so much – Because I feel that they have little to no value and are frankly a waste of time.

Yes I’m a huge killjoy; I skate under my real name, I hate certificates, I don’t like skate outs, and I’m not all about the hand slapping at the end of a game either – so why do I play the sport if I hate so many little features of it?

Because of the sport, that’s what makes it enjoyable, the actual game.

All the unnecessary accoutrements are meaningless if you don’t have a good game to watch, play or officiate. Nominating three different people from one team as Best at that thing almost (to me anyway) belittles the action of the rest of the players on track. Because let’s be totally honest here – who when faced with the selection of their Best Blocker, Best Jammer and Most Valuable Player at the end of every match literally does a rushed, ‘oh they’ll do I vaguely remember them’, or ‘that one with the sparkly helmet, she did that one thing’, it’s not about who actually was better, or more valuable – who stood out a little bit more than the other players on track during a game for you to stand up and take notice.

I have won a certificate during a few games and scrim that I have played, and out of all those times I have never once felt that I deserved it. There are a whole host of other phenomenal players on our squad who did a million other more valuable things than getting lead a few times and being enough of an ego for the other team to remember me (yes I have an ego – team sports are hard!)

Photo Credit to Jason Garnett

I understand that everyone wants Roller Derby to keep it’s fun aspects, but why do we ask the opposition to select their top 3 players from your squad of 15 (after 1 hour of game-play) when deep down as a team we all know who we would pick as our singular MVP of the game – wouldn’t it mean a bit more coming from your coaches and team-mates than a bunch of people who you know deep down selected their top players in the same rushed way you did?

It’s not that I don’t value their opinion, I just don’t believe that anyone puts that much thought in to it…


One thought on “Why I hate Certificates…

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